My Life: Breaking the Cycle

Depression sucks on several levels. It is not just hitting the lows and getting out of those funks but it is also having to undo all it built up to keep itself around and make it easier to get you right back to that low point again and when it has the most control. And it is one of the harder things to do as it is so easy to think things are fine again when the worst is over and just try to put it all behind you.

One thing I learned early on with mental illness though is that you cannot just deal with it when it feels like an issue then believe you are fine afterwards. If you do that it leads to the same issues returning time and time again. As I was able to take control of my anxiety by working on it even when I felt fine. My anxiety had lessened to a point were it is manageable, even if I still slip from time to time to the old habits that build it up but it is much less frequent and I can recover much quicker.

These days I am working on undoing what depression built up. This means making the time to do every day things that I got into my head would be too much trouble/energy/time to do. It also means celebrating doing those little everyday things as each one is a victory over depression. Every time I do so then it means I have broken down what it built up and I am on my way to becoming the person I want to be.

I can think back to how I used to be, all the things that I used to be able to enjoy without worry. I want to go back to enjoying those things again. I won't give up hope in being able to do so, not when I have been making the progress I have.

Finally Utapri Shining Live news reaction

As I play catch up with this blog I do not want to wait too much longer before commenting the big news. And that is after being completely silent for a couple of months the Uta no Prince-sama: Shining Live website has updated with plenty of information to digest as it looks like they are finally ramping up for a release.

One of the first things that stand out is that the website comes in three languages now, Japanese, Traditional Chinese and English. The latter two are rather bare outside of the announcement that there will be version releases of the game for them "coming soon". The Japanese version has basic information about the game to look through as well as having information about special presents set for the game launch.

Right now those special presents are a ticket to pick a UR of your choice for the game. The other came from a twitter campaign they are running and after getting 100,000 followers everyone will get 100 prisms, which look to be the in-game currency for scouting.

Those announcements are a great sign that things are likely ramping up for a release of the game in the near future. Of course there is no news for a date but hopefully we are not kept waiting for much longer, especially if Broccoli/Klab want to launch it before the other major male idol rhythm game, Idolmaster Side M Live on Stage. 

Of course even with the competition for the Japanese app market having it set to be a world wide release is exciting, as there really is nothing out there now. Out of all the male idol rhythm games it does make some sense for Utapri to be the one willing to tackle the English speaking world. The anime series has been available for English speaking fans to watch for years and in that sense has a much larger presence with that group. While the other games may have anime series in the making or recently aired they still lack the build up of the brand that Utapri was able to enjoy as the trendsetter. Plus Broccoli, unlike the general anime viewing public, will have the actual numbers behind the views of the streams and sales of what has been released. So they should know if it looks like it could a success. And partnering with the one company that already has successfully launched and kept a similar game going just makes sense. 

Honestly I had just about given up on the idea of any other franchise coming over with a rhythm game so the news makes me so happy. I already plan on making my English account my main, as I doubt the JP server will be sharing with the other languages. I could be wrong and would not mind to be so as I know no matter what when the JP version launches I will be getting it in a heartbeat. 

Right now I am expecting not to hear much more news until the game is announced to be coming out, and I would not be surprised if that happens only a few days before it does. But no matter what I will be downloading this app as soon as I can.

An Ode to Tsugunaga Momoko

Because of work I had to miss out on the streaming of Tsugunaga Momoko's graduation concert. While I am bummed about missing it I have not searched for it to watch either. Instead I am staying safely in the 'denial' phase of loss and pretending if I have not seen the concert than I can think of her still being with Hello! Project a little longer. Or at least not have to think of H!P without her even though I know better. So this is not a farewell post, that will come someday, but rather one where I get to reflect on how much I have come to love Momoko.

Well before I got into Hello! Project I ran across Buono! and fell in love with the group. Their rock-pop songs were perfectly to my tastes and the whole concept of the band screamed "cute", and I have a great weakness for cute things. Though it was Miyabi and Airi that got most of my attention but once I did get into H!P and learned much more about the girls my like for Momoko grew. I can now say that I have no favorite member of Buono! and it remains my all-time favorite H!P group.

But with that growing like for Momoko also came respect for everything she has accomplished. From being one of the few H!P members to get the chance to go to and graduate from university. The fact that she created a persona with Momochii that was the perfect fit for variety shows, the heart of Japanese TV. I do not think I will ever be a Momochii fan but the persona kept Momoko relevant even when H!P was struggling to find how to build lost momentum in the idol industry.

Seeing her act as playing manager in Country Girls really drove home that she was more than ready to mentor. With Berryz Kubo she never really had that chance which is what CG gave her. I would say she did great with nurturing the young talent that entered the group despite it never having much of a stable line-up for various reasons.

Since she joined H!P as a literal child fans can see her grow up to be the young woman she is. And with all that she has already accomplished in her young life it seems like a no-brainer to have faith that she is going to continue to do well with whatever she wants to do with her life. And teaching seems like a perfect fit for her.

While I will be sad not to have Momoko the idol anymore I cannot help but feel grateful for the fact that I was able to find her and become a fan.