My Life: Breaking the Cycle

Depression sucks on several levels. It is not just hitting the lows and getting out of those funks but it is also having to undo all it built up to keep itself around and make it easier to get you right back to that low point again and when it has the most control. And it is one of the harder things to do as it is so easy to think things are fine again when the worst is over and just try to put it all behind you.

One thing I learned early on with mental illness though is that you cannot just deal with it when it feels like an issue then believe you are fine afterwards. If you do that it leads to the same issues returning time and time again. As I was able to take control of my anxiety by working on it even when I felt fine. My anxiety had lessened to a point were it is manageable, even if I still slip from time to time to the old habits that build it up but it is much less frequent and I can recover much quicker.

These days I am working on undoing what depression built up. This means making the time to do every day things that I got into my head would be too much trouble/energy/time to do. It also means celebrating doing those little everyday things as each one is a victory over depression. Every time I do so then it means I have broken down what it built up and I am on my way to becoming the person I want to be.

I can think back to how I used to be, all the things that I used to be able to enjoy without worry. I want to go back to enjoying those things again. I won't give up hope in being able to do so, not when I have been making the progress I have.